chapter seven

All I ever feel is hate. I hate Mother, I hate Father, and I hate God for not answering my prayers. I hate the sunlight. I hate the smell of food. I hate everything. Those boys are no longer my brothers. I just want out of this place. I wish she would just kill me and get it over with. Father left, for good. He left me here all alone. He said she was sorry, but I dont believe it anymore. I prayed just one last time. Let's hope it works.

chapter six

Father started to spend less time at home, but when he was home he helped me with the dishes. He would often ask if I have ate and told me that one day we would both get out of this madhouse. Him helping me was soon put to an end by Mother, just like everything else. Now she likes to lock me in the bathroom with a bucket of Clorox and ammonia. I am so sick of her stupid games. Her new "game" is to fill the bathtub up with freezing cold water and made me lay in it for hours. One Sunday afternoon, Mother told me she was tired of living this way, that it was all over. She let me take a warm bath and wear brand new clothes. The next day, a lady from social services came to the house and asked me alot of questions. Mother had lied. After the lady left, she beat me like usual. Everything was right back to normal.

chapter five

Mother even has my youngest brother, Russel, brainwashed. He watches me like a hawk and sometimes makes up stories to tell Mother, just to see me get beat. One day, she told me I had twenty minutes to get my chores done. I glanced down at Russel who was clinging to her leg. She was quickly upset by the fact that I wasn't looking at her when she was speaking. Mother grabbed a knife and told me she would kill me if I wasn't finished in time. Suddenly, she began rocking back and forth. The knife flew from her hand and hit just above my stomach. She dressed my wound and made me finish the dishes. Mother was so nice to me that night, but turned into her normal self the next day. I continued to take care of the wound myself. I felt like Superman.

chapter four

School became my only escape. September came and I started school. I was so proud of my new clothes, but since Mother makes me wear the same clothes over and over again, they were torn and smelly by October. She now would "forget" to feed me. I started to steal food from the kids at school, but soon got caught. I wasn't even called by my name anymore. I've now became "The Boy" and I'm not allowed to do anything. Father would sometimes sneak me food, but that tatic didn't last long either. Soon, I had yet another plan for getting food. I would leave school during my lunch recess, steal some food, run back to school, and eat it in the bathroom. But, yet again, I got caught. I even tried stealing scraps out of the trash can. One day, she even made me throw my food back up and eat it. She almost always caught me when I got food. Mother began making me eat things like ammonia, Clorox, and dishsoap. I found one thing she didn't catch me at, though -- stealing bits of frozen food out of the freezer in the basement.

chapter three

Mother seems to always catch me doing something I shouldn't be doing. I'm becoming more and more afraid of her. Whenever Father is at work, she makes my brothers and I search for something she has lost. After months and months, I was the only one sent on these searches. On a Sunday, while Father was at work, Mother came down stairs yelling. I knew it wasn't good. The closer she got to me, the stronger the scent of the booze on her breath got. She began punching me and my body swung back and forth. I put my arm out to stop her, but instead she grabbed it and lost her balance. I heard a loud pop and it hurt so bad! Mother didn't do anything about it. She simply sent me to bed, but told me to sleep on the top bunk. I didn't understand why because I had always slept on the bottom. Shortly after I fell asleep, Mother woke me up and told me I fell off the top bunk. She took me to the doctor and told him the same thing. This "accident" was no accident at all, but if i tell anyone I'll be in big trouble. Another day, after I ran home from school, Mother told me that she had seen me playing on the grass during my lunch. She wasn't happy about it... at all. She turned on the stove and made me take off my clothes. I was absolutely terrified. She held my arm in the flame and then ordered me to lay on top of the stove. I knew my brother would be home soon, so I stalled as long as possible. The door soon flew open and I grabbed my cothes and took off to the garage. I had won.

chapter two

We used to be so happy. I don't understand what happened. Mother used to be so loving and happy. Now she's just full of bitterness and hate. We used to have picnics in the park all the time and have the best time at holidays. But my favorite of all were our trips to the Russian River. The year we went when I was in kindergarden was the best year of all. But, thats all over now.

chapter one

This morning when I woke up, it started out like any other morning. Mother made me do the dishes. She caught me with my hands out of the scalding hot water and hit me. But, at least I got my brother's leftover cereal. I was running late since it took me so long to do my chores so, Mother drove me to school. When I got there, I went to the nurse's office so that she could check me for marks and bruises like she does every morning. I lied and told her that I ran into the door, but I eventually told her the truth. A little later, a police officer took me from the school. I thought for sure I was going to go to jail. Instead, he told me I was "free". I'm not quite sure what he means, but it must be good.